What's up with the hair?!

So... yeah. I have blue hair and I'm getting some interesting responses. About 80% "that rocks", "love your hair!", "great color!", "you are wearing that hair!" and so on. But then there is about 20% of the rest: 

Why blue? 
That's not professional. What are you going to do when you see clients? 
Really? Blue? 
Why blue? 
What is going on with you? 
I hope that's not permanent. 
And so on... 

For those of you who have been supportive and complimentary, THANK YOU!! It is very encouraging and reassuring. Because, although I did not get it for your approval, your approval is certainly icing on the cake! 

Now, for the rest of you, here is what is going on. Nothing. I just wanted blue hair. Maybe that has never happened to you before: waking up and wanting a change bad enough to make it happen for yourself but fortunately or unfortunately, it happens a lot to me. I don't know why. I've kind of always been this way. But when I've made the change I wanted, I cannot think of a time that I've regretted it. I mean a change to myself. Like when I cut my hair for the first time. Or when I got a tattoo, shhh. You know? Those kinds of things. 

As for my hair, I simply wanted a change. I got the feeling and knew exactly what I wanted to do, but I typically wait a bit to make sure the idea isn't just a vapor in the wind. If it sticks for a few weeks, then I do. If it doesn't, I probably forgot about it anyway. So there is the deep, grand, and so-very-interesting reason why I have blue hair. #sarcasm

I think it is reflective of me. Of my personality and so, if a client or any person for that matter, can't handle it, doesn't like it or judges me by it, then it is their loss. I'm over it. I think I'm pretty cool so if you don't want to be around me, I'm okay with that. 

Anything you've thought about doing to yourself? Any changes you've wanted to make? If you haven't done them... why not? 

20 days? Really?!

So I'm now realizing that it has been 20 days since my last post. TWENTY DAYS! That's ridiculous. I mean, a lot happened, don't get me wrong. But it made me think about priorities.

My, my... when life got real, how quickly the blog tumbled down the list?! I did a cleanse. I got a death-seeking virus (okay, a little dramatic, but I was very near to my last breath... in my mind). I stepped up my fight with the State regarding my Health Insurance - or lack thereof, I should say. I taught more essential oils classes. I earned another coaching client. I went to a few adult gatherings and celebrations. Okay, we hit a few kiddie one's too! I spent time with friends I hadn't seen in way too long and I FINALLY got some decent sleep!

I guess I got tossed off track. But.. well... did I? Actually, I went on an unintentional hiatus. But I dare say, couldn't we all benefit from those every once in a while? I say yes. Yes, we could. Yes, we should.

I'm thinking that by getting off track, I might be right on track.

Up early? Or late?

I'm up. I've been up. I'm thinking and I can't stop the thinking. I'm wondering. I'm worried. I'm being too honest... Oh well. I don't have all the answers and I don't feel like I can control anything right now even though I can hear my mind saying, "Control the controllables." Ever have moments like that? Mine come at 3 and 4 am and keep me up until the early morning wake up times. Today will be a long one, it seems. 

Every time I start processing in my head, it becomes overwhelming. But when I open my mouth to speak to God... I start crying. And I don't even know why I cry! But I do... and it feels great! Well, during the cry it is confusing but afterward, it feels like a relief. Maybe I hide more than I thought? Maybe I really am bothered by things that I say (and believe) do not bother me? Maybe there are feelings there, when I thought there were none. 

Ahh, the irony of our prayers. I pray and pray for something. God answers my prayers by giving me what I said I wanted. Then I have it. There it is. All I have to do is pick it up. But I'm scared to lift my arms. All I need to do is walk through the door He opened, but my legs are paralyzed with fear. Why is that? Ugh! I think of the old adage, "Be careful what you pray for!" Oh, shut up! That's not helpful right now. Now, a push! A giant shove! That would be helpful. But it won't come. It never will. Because this leg of the journey is up to me. 

"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, 

But he who walks wisely will be delivered."

Proverbs 28:26 NASB

Head AND heart. All decisions should be made considering both. Business, personal, relational, even spiritual. Yes, I said spiritual. God gave us a mind to balance our hearts and a heart to balance our minds. He expects us to use them both, at all times, in varying ways. The wisdom is in when and how. I will pray for wisdom... You should too! 

Okay, that feels a bit better. Now, let's tackle this day! Until next time. 

Man in the Mirror

Have you ever looked at the mirror... naked... and just stood there long enough to find all 3,698 flaws? Phew!! I thought it was just me! What a relief! Well... kind of. 

Okay, so we admit that we do this and guess what? It's not just women. Men are just as, if not more, self-conscious. This is a FACT. Please do not dispute it. You will lose. 

So here's the question... What are we doing next? Does that critical conversation with ourselves end up motivating us to the gym, or to surgery or to the doctor? Does it send us into a downward spiral of depression and hopelessness? Does it make us congratulate ourselves that it is not worse than what it could be? Or does it make us binge eat since, "it doesn't seem to matter anyway"?

What are we telling ourselves and how are we responding to that? I feel like it is so easy to allow negative self-talk into our minds. And honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if that is all it was. But it's not. Those words become thoughts and those thoughts plant seeds and negative seeds yield a negative product. So why do we do it? I mean, let's be honest. Even if that talk drives you to the gym daily, you still view yourself as inadequate. Okay, so you're inadequate. Then who is adequate among us? Let me know!! It's definitely not me.

I mean, I don't know. I guess I'm trying to understand why I get so bored with myself so quickly. How can I see EVERY SINGLE THING that is wrong with me within a minute of looking at myself. Why do people with curly hair want straight hair and tall people wish they were shorter? Why do married people want to be single and single people want to be married? lol! I crack myself up! But really, it just feels like we are never satisfied with ourselves, our significant others, our homes, our jobs, almost everything. I literally could complain about just about everything in my life if challenged to. I think it's my faith that stops me. I literally feel guilty complaining because for as many things that I have to complain about, I could identify twice as many things to be grateful for. Yes, admittedly, I am an eternal optimist but I am also a believer in the Most High God. I just can't believe that a big ol' giant God would create something He thought was ugly or purposeless. That doesn't even make sense to me. 

So, today, when I look in the mirror, I will see it all. But I will choose what to focus on and I will reset my attitude about it. Today I will make that change. Tomorrow, I will do the same. On the third day, I may fail but it will not be due to a lack of effort nor will it mean I've lost. I've not lost. I've only experienced a minor setback. I will try again. 

 Ultimately, I am a series of the choices I make. I am a product of my own decisions. I am not a victim. Even when I am a victim, I can choose my response to the situation. I own it. I own it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. It is all a part of me and after all... perfection is overrated anyway! 

That awkward moment when...

I'm in the dressing room and realize I can't get out of the shirt I just fought to get into without ripping it.

What to do! Think Lana! THINK!!

What happened? Everything.

Man... 

So much has happened since I last wrote. So, so much. But I can't tell you all of it now because: 

a) it's 3:20am, my time and I could crash at any moment
b) it overwhelms me emotionally so I need to overcome the fear involved with writing about some of it
c) I have to keep my posts short so that you will read them... but it's soooo much! 

But, I gotta start somewhere, right? So here we go. Let's talk about how much I've been battling with my body image lately. Yeah, I mean, I know I'm not huge or obese or overweight but even fit chicks  have body image issues so let's now get stuck in the details. Everyone has a type that they are comfortable with. Mine is about 10-15 lbs lighter with a mid-section that isn't afraid to make occasional appearances. 

After I had my daughter, my abdominal area went into hiding. And from the looks of things, it will NOT soon be back... unless, I make some changes. Also, my eating over the last month or so, has been deplorable. I tout myself as a whole food, organic only, non-GMO, healthy eater. Most of the time, I am. But lately.... well, let's not even talk about it. I've been eating out and making poor choices in general. I have also let my sweet tooth get out of hand. I think the reason for all of this is because I'm discouraged about my mid-section and if I'm honest, I am probably thinking "eff it," most of the time. 

But, me, being the eternal optimist that I am, knows that it's never too late to make a fresh start! So I first decided to cleanse but I want to cleanse my way so I researched all the all-in-one versions out there and noticed the following similarities: 

1) Lots of water intake in crucial
2) enzymes
3) pre and pro biotics
4) protein
5) fiber

I'm going to tell you what each thing does in a completely random order now. Why? If you are asking that, you don't know me at all. Go and read previous posts to catch up, then come back. For the rest of you, here we go: 

80% of your immune system is located in the digestive tract

If you don't know this, then you are probably going about your health the wrong way. Soak that in, and then read on. 

I use the one on the right. It's flavorless.
I add it to my protein shake. :) 

1) Prebiotics are food for the probiotics. They both live in our gut. Prebiotics basically make probiotics more efficient, therefore they become more powerful and effective. Prebiotics are a form of fiber. You can find it naturally in certain vegetables or take them as a supplement - which is what I do. They are both good bacteria, which we need to increase which decreases the bad bacteria in our bodies. 

2) Protein - well, everyone needs protein. The issue is how we get it. Usually it is attached to some meat along with extra sauce, fat, calories, etc. So I'm doing a vegan protein shake which I got from my Arbonne representative. Want to know more about this? Let me know. I will connect you! Basically, we need protein to live. Do not stop eating protein. You will die. And I'm not even trying to scare you. That's just true. 

This is the digestive enzyme I use.
I also sell it through doTERRA.
Click here to buy. 

3) Enzymes help the body to break incoming food down into usable nutrients and to help the body to dissolve and eventually expel non-helpful tissue in the body. Basically, it's going to be addictive and make you feel really good. Don't get addicted. Don't over do it. 

4) Fiber does a lot of things: smooths out digestion, provides "fuel" for good bacteria, expedites waste removal, regulates bowels. Basically, it gets stuff moving and gets stuff OUT! 

5) Water - now this is possibly the most important addition of all. 60% of the human body is water. We use it constantly and it needs constant replenishment. Water is zero calories and zero sugar so it's a great add on to any weight loss regimen. It moisturizes our largest organ - the skin. Keeps things flowing in the digestive tract like aiding in the expulsion of toxins floating around all loosey goosey in the body. See my upcoming post about infused water if plain water bores you. 

Finally - don't do this for too long. A reasonable period of time for a cleanse is about 14-45 days, in my opinion. There are differing views on this. But do listen to your body. I will post my cleansing plan by March when I officially begin. 

Feel good! 

It's My Birthday!!

So... sorry for the quiet few days. But I have a great excuse! My birthday was last week and WOW did I celebrate! I mean, I'm kinda proud of myself. I was partying like it was 1999. It was a three phase celebration. 

Why no cake? Because I had a giant cobbler made to share for my birthday.
Why? Because I like cobbler more than cake and it's my birthday so back off! 

2 of my Besties from the dinner

For Phase One, I hosted a vision board party, which was AMAZING! 11 of my girlfriends showed up and brought my favorite champagne and we enjoyed wine and cheese for snacks. We opened up about our desires for ourselves and were honest about why we decided to come to the party. It was very insightful. I love my friends. 

Phase Two happened on Thursday night. Dinner at my favorite restaurant. I figured since it was a weeknight that not many would attend but almost 40 people came! I don't know a time when I felt more special. Really. 

A few of us posing, with the cast, after the play. 

Phase Three was in support of my cousin who starred in a play called, The Meeting. It's about a secret conversation that supposedly took place between Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr and Malcolm X. It was riveting. Truly. About 8 of my friends and I went to watch it and then we went to a local restaurant to celebrate together. 

Doesn't it feel like I'm
peeking around the
edge of this blog at
you? Creepy right? 

Last week was pretty amazing. Not because I partied. And not even becuase I may have partied a bit too hard and gotten sick. (Yeah, I know. smh) It's because I was surrounded by pepole who love me. The people in my life now are supposed to be here. I felt genuine love, without pretense or convenience. People blessed me with gifts... GIFTS!! At my age, I didn't expect gifts but I accepted them - LOL! It reminded me how long it had been since I celebrated myself. more than 9 years. Can you believe it? I can't. 

And guess what? It won't be another nine years... That's what I learned. I learned to celebrate. Pause, take time to plan something for me and then ENJOY IT. Be fully present and have a blast. Life is too short for anything else.